How do I begin to put this in
words? How do I describe just how much this weekend meant to me? For me to let
you in, I have to explain so much.
I have been a Peer Mentor for 2
years now. Being a Peer Mentor is like being a part of a cult, and I mean that
in the best of ways. No one really understands what it takes: the sweat, blood,
and tears you shed for the job. It’s a fight to be recognized and respected
every day, an uphill journey. It’s seeing the same people at least once a week
and learning to not only to love them but also to have a working relationship
with them.
But it’s this struggle, and it’s
this pain that pulls you together and builds you into a family. This year, I
not only got to participate in being a part of the Peer Mentor family, but I
was involved in the selection and formation of this family. I built a family from
scratch this year. And I have poured my whole entire being into that family,
into that organization. At times, I have been let down and disappointed, but
for every negative experience there have been at least ten amazing moments that
made up for it. It’s an experience that makes you feel so proud and happy.
Being a
part of PLUS team has been a hard transition for me. If I were asked to
describe my weekend in one word it would be crazy! It was an explosion of
people and stories and moments. And above all, it became the moment when
everything changed for me.
I had been
struggling to accept myself as a part of this family because I have another
family. Because in the broadest use of the term, I felt like I was betraying my
family when I became a part of this one. Because being a part of the PLUS Team
family, means letting go of the old one and accepting that it’s time to move on, and it's this change that I hate so much. Because with my other family I
understand my role; but with you, with all of you, I am building a new role
within a new whole. And this misplaced fear was holding me back and holding
back my heart from growing with you and growing into you.
As much as
this change scares me, as much as I am scared to lose what I have worked so
hard to build, I think that I am more afraid of losing the opportunity to grow into
this family. I love you comes easy to me and I was so scared that I had lost
that. I was afraid that I had changed and I was petrified with the fear that I
wouldn’t be able to connect.
During
touchstone, I had this moment when I realized that everyone on the team is so
open and willing to love me and to have me be a part of this family. I realized
how selfish I was being in holding on to my fears. I realized that I can be a
part of more than one family and that you can love an infinite amount of people
and experiences and not have to love one more than the other. Love, in its
infinite wisdom doesn’t teach us to love comparatively, but it teaches us to
love without judgments and without fear.
And this is
the best part because it is where I tell you that I do truly love you, each and
every one of you. And I want you to know that with this love comes a promise, a
promise that I will let go of the fear. Because, this weekend, I have gotten to
know the most amazing people on this campus, and I want to hold you all in my
heart forever.
You were all so open with me this
weekend, and you deserve that same openness from me. I guess what I am trying
to say is thank you. Thank you for an unforgettable weekend, and thank you for
helping me open my heart to this experience. I can’t wait for every other
unforgettable moment that is sure to come! I love you all!
-Rosario
